7 Signs You Have a Communication Problem in Your Relationship (And How to Fix It)

Introduction

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

– George Bernard Shaw

Effective communication acts as a strong foundation for a successful relationship. You might have seen, even the most loving couples sometimes stumble upon troubles in communication. This leads to misunderstandings and further disconnect. According to an article published in Psychology Today by Norman Epstein, quality of communication has been found in research to be associated with relationship satisfaction.

If you’ve been struggling to express yourself or feel unheard in your relationship, you’re not alone. You can be on the lookout for signs and learn how to mitigate it better. At Insights Wellbeing, you get to choose from workshops, and individual therapy sessions on how to fix communication issues in a relationship and reconnect with your partner with effective communication strategies.

Here are seven telltale signs of communication problems and actionable solutions to help fix them.

1. Arguments

Which couple doesn’t fight right? That’s okay, it is normal too. But if you are having too many disagreements turn into a heated argument stage, uh oh, it is trouble. This could indicate that some deep underlying frustrations and resentments are held close. Maybe not communicated effectively, so it is starting to take other forms.

The Fix:

-         Practice active listening. When your partner speaks, focus entirely on their words instead of formulating your response. Reflective statements like, “What I hear you saying is…” can help ensure understanding.

-         Address the root cause. Schedule a calm moment to discuss unresolved issues instead of letting them fester.

According to a longitudinal observational study conducted by Gottman and Krokoff, constructive engagement in disagreements, rather than avoidance, predicted greater marital satisfaction over time, even if conflict appeared tense initially. Addressing underlying issues helped couples avoid repeating the same problems in the long term

1. Avoiding Difficult Conversations

So, do you or your partner avoid discussing sensitive topics to prevent conflict? It is natural to feel like avoiding difficult conversations. It is no doubt draining and very hard. But it is important to have such communication. Avoidance can lead to resentment and a lack of emotional intimacy.

The Fix:

-         Set the tone for safety. Create an environment where both partners feel secure sharing their thoughts without fear of judgment.

-         Use “I” statements. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when I express my needs.” This shifts the focus to your feelings rather than blaming your partner.

1. Feeling Misunderstood or Unheard

Do you often feel that your partner doesn’t understand your perspective? That no matter what you say, they don’t get you? Miscommunication can result in feelings of isolation and frustration. And this is going to affect the quality of your relationship.

The Fix:

-         Clarify and confirm. Summarize what your partner says and ask if you’ve understood correctly. This small step can prevent major misunderstandings.

-         Seek feedback. Encourage your partner to share how they perceive your communication style. This can be a helpful step in mutual growth.

1. Using Sarcasm or Passive-Aggressive Language

Yet another common issue among couples. Using sarcasm or passive aggression to warp digs in. This is detrimental to the trust you have with your partner. The tensions that are between you both will only further escalate.

The Fix:

-         Be direct and respectful. Replace sarcasm with honest statements about your feelings.

-         Call it out calmly. If sarcasm arises, pause the conversation and express how it affects you. For example, “When you say that, it feels dismissive.”

1. One Partner Dominates the Conversation

When you and your partner talk, does it feel like one is doing all the talking and the other is just plain old silent? This is not a conversation then. This imbalance in voice could lead to one partner feeling extremely dismissed and overshadowed.

The Fix:

-         Create balance. Implement a “talking stick” approach, where each person takes turns speaking without interruption.

-         Pause and check in. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s your take on this?” to engage the quieter partner.

1. Avoidance of Eye Contact or Dismissive Body Language

Actions speak louder than words. Does your partner look away, fold their arms, or use dismissive gestures during conversations? These nonverbal cues could give you all the clues.

The Fix:

-         Be mindful of body language. Maintain an open posture and steady eye contact to signal engagement and respect.

-         Address nonverbal disconnects. Politely point out dismissive gestures and express your feelings without accusations.

A study published in 2019 implies that if couples are more receptive to what their spouse wants to convey nonverbally, it can help in better understanding of each other which will lead to better relationship satisfaction.

1. Feeling Like You’re “Walking on Eggshells”

Do you feel like you take a beat before expressing your feelings to your partner? Maybe worried or scared of triggering a negative reaction. This is what walking on eggshells means. This points to a lack of emotional safety in the relationship.

The Fix:

-         Build trust through vulnerability. Share smaller concerns first to establish a safe communication flow before tackling bigger issues.

-         Consider couple’s therapy. A therapist can mediate and provide tools to rebuild trust and safety. At Insights Wellbeing, we offer workshops, individual therapy sessions, and care plans for your help.

Final Thoughts

Communication is not just about talking; it’s about understanding, connecting, and growing together. By identifying these signs and implementing the fixes, you can transform your relationship into a more harmonious and supportive partnership.

Remember, growth takes time and effort. If you’re feeling stuck, reaching out to a professional counselor can be a powerful step toward rebuilding communication and fostering deeper intimacy.

References

1. Psychology Today. (2025). How couples' communication influences relationship quality. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stronger-bonds/202501/how-couples-communication-influences-relationship-quality
2. Gottman, J. M., & Krokoff, L. J. (1989). Two longitudinal studies of marital interaction were conducted to examine... Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Retrieved from http://www.gruberpeplab.com/teaching/psych231_fall2013/documents/231_Gottman1989.pdf
3. Vandana Kanth Relationship satisfaction, nonverbal behavior and duration of marriage: A correlational study on married people.International Journal of Research and Analytical Reviews (IJRAR), 6(2), 174–176. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/349426085_RELATIONSHIP_SATISFACTION_NONVERBAL_BEHAVIOR_AND_DURATION_OF_MARRIAGE_A_CORRELATIONAL_STUDY_ON_MARRIED_PEOPLE